A Breakup Letter From My Ex-Supermodel Girlfriend

October 23, 2014 by Adam Dunlap

As some of you know, 4 months ago to the day, my supermodel girlfriend and I broke up. It was as sudden, unexpected, and as surprising as anything I have ever experienced. Suffice it to say it completely rocked my world. Plus this breakup was especially hard for me because I was ready to put a ring on it :\ And, yes, if that previous sentence is any indication, you are correct in assuming that she is the one who broke up with me.

Of course, I’m sure your next question is, “Adam, why in the world did she break up with you? Clearly that has never happened before and clearly we thought it never would.” Thank you for that kind thought. I will validate your high opinion of me once again and confirm that not even one of the 7+ billion people on the planet thought a girl would ever break up with me. And yet, I guess nightmares do come true because here we are.

There is a small silver lining in the break up… in a way, I suppose. The breakup actually came with an honest and forthright explanation from her which is more courtesy than many people get. For that I am forever grateful. The girl of my dreams with hips that made power lifters weak in the knees and boobs that made men thirsty in the middle of Thailand’s monsoon season, actually broke up with me in the form of a letter.

As part of the healing process, I felt I should publish this letter publicly, right here, on my Supermodel Girlfriend website. After all, she was a supermodel and she was my girlfriend, so it kind of makes sense :\ In any case, I have copied her letter, word for absolute word, and you can read it below. The only thing I omitted was her name at the end which I have done in the complete and utter heartbreaking sadness that I am still partially experiencing. Plus I like to keep the specifics of my personal life quite private, so I prefer to keep her identity a secret because that’s how I do things.

Without further a-heartbreaking-do, here is the letter.

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This is not a picture of my ex-smgf. This is just Lindsay Ellingson. But my now ex-supermodel girlfriend looked a lot like her in a lot of ways.

_________________________

Dear Adam,

It is with a heavy heart that I write you the most painful letter I have ever written in my life. I don’t really know how to say what I am about to say, and I don’t know if it’ll make any sense at all. I’m just a supermodel, and I know I process everything emotionally like all women do, so I’m sure this is going to sound sporadic and unthought out. But I swear this to you: what I am about to say makes sense to me in an inexplicably romantic and desire-filled cosmic way. And I’m hoping that you will be able to read my mind the way you always did and understand the depths of my heart like no one, but you, ever could.

We need to break up. Or better said, I need to break us up. Because of you, the last 3 months of my life have been the most amazing 3 months any woman could ever experience. In fact, they have been so good that I can’t stand it anymore. That’s exactly why I have to go.

Ever since I met you it’s like my life has literally come to a blissful halt at the hands of romantic perfection. The only things I ever think about anymore are how perfect you are, how well you treat me, and how I can give you better blow jobs. The way you whisper in my ear and the way you hold me, it’s like the rest of the world disappears when I’m with you. And when you’re gone, I can’t figure out how to snap back to the reality that sometimes you aren’t there cuddling me like my perfect larger spoon. Even when I’m on a Victoria’s Secret lingerie shoot and I hear someone say the name “Adam”, my nipples get hard and we have to take a five minute break for me to calm down. I literally can’t get away from the thought of you, and how much I want to be literally rocking your socks every minute of every day.

Your perfection as a man and your perfection as a romantic partner is so comprehensively captivating that my perspective on men has been completely changed because of you. You set the bar so high in every way that the other day Brad Pitt said hi to me, and I felt like I was talking to a Jabba the Hutt wannabe. Your caringness, compassion, and understanding is so moving that I’m constantly questioning my deservingness of your attention and stare. When you look at me I can’t find the back of your hazel eyes, and it feels like my heart is being touched by the archangel Michael himself. And that’s just the emotional part. If I talked about the physical, my back would probably start arching just writing it out, as you know all too well.

Everything you ever said to me, everything, put butterflies in my stomach. The time you recited The Notebook entirely from memory was one of the most romantic experiences I think anyone could ever have. And yet even simple things you said like, “Hey,” threw my female anatomy into a glorious fit of desire that was only matched by the unfathomable speed with which my heart constantly beat because you were in my life. Your compassion, graciousness, patience, warmth, and love permeated everything you ever did and said to me, and I felt completely protected and safe just knowing you were probably on the same continent as me. I know I’ve never done anything to deserve something or someone as wonderful as you, and that’s why it is has been so difficult for me to write this letter.

I know I’ll never find a guy like you again because I know none others exist. If they did, there would be legends about them, and Hollywood would have made countless films in their honor. But I think I’ll be OK without you. I think. The three months we spent together will last me a lifetime of the most devote chastity and more. That’s how good you were to me, and that’s how much you will always stay with me.

I hope you understand my emotional ramblings of thoughts and feelings. This is the hardest decision I’ve ever made, and I’m sure I’ll regret it countless times in my future and maybe even every day without fail. But I also know, you will understand, and that brings me peace at least at some level.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything you gave me and in every way. I love you forever and always will.

Your [gorgeous supermodel babe]

____________________

Four months to the day have passed since she wrote me this letter, and I’m still trying to find ways to heal. In my ever present abilities to interpret the thoughts and emotions of women, I do understand her letter as she thought I would. But it still hurts, and I think that’s something most people can relate to. If you are so compelled, please leave your comments of comfort and support in the section below. It would really mean a lot to me.

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I guess now that I’m single again, I can re-start my pursuit of my favorite supermodel, Nina Agdal. I’m not sure if Nina can handle my awesomeness, but time will tell.

 

October 23, 2014 in Adam Dunlap, Lindsay Ellingson, Nina Agdal, Supermodels by Adam Dunlap