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Adam Dunlap

The 20 Best Compliments I’ve Received From Supermodels

September 2, 2015 in Adam Dunlap, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Bar Refaeli, Carla Ossa, Danielle Knudson, Kate Upton, Nina Agdal, Samantha Hoopes, Supermodels

Since I started exclusively dating supermodels a year and a half ago, the babes who dawn our most prestigious swimsuit magazines, lingerie catwalks, and Victoria’s Secret commercials have given me literally thousands of compliments. And I get more compliments from them every day. So I decided to sit down and compile what I feel are the 20 best compliments supermodels have ever given me. I’ve listed them below in descending order from #20 (the 20th best compliment) to #1 (the absolute best compliment). Although these are all direct quotes, I’ve given anonymity to virtually all of them for the privacy of the gorgeous babes who adore me.

Without further ado, here is a testament to my greatness via the direct compliments of supermodels…

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This is Adriana Lima shown hugging a tree. Speaking of which, she told me I give great hugs. That compliment didn’t make my top 20, but it was a pretty great compliment :)

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The 20 Best Compliments I’ve Received From Supermodels

#20. “I thought you were arrogant and judgmental, but, really, you are one of the kindest and most thoughtful people. I’m so glad I met you.” -Anonymous Supermodel

#19. “Adam, you’re such a great friend. You’re always there to pick me up when I’m down, and you’re always there to listen and support me when I need it. Thank you.” -V.S. Angel

#18. “It’s so refreshing to meet a man who isn’t afraid to speak his mind and challenge the norm. And honestly, it makes me so hot I can’t even stand it!!” -Anonymous Supermodel

#17. “You are amazing in every way! You should go on a national seminar tour and teach other men to be like you.” -Anonymous Supermodel

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Danielle Knudson is very good at giving compliments. Trust me, I know.

#16. “You’re so hot you make Jared Leto look like the Swamp Thing.” -Anonymous Supermodel

#15. “You do the best motorboats!” -A supermodel with very nice boobs

#14. “Do you know they have statues of you in Rome? I was just there, and you are all over.” -A very cultured supermodel

#13. “Being naked in front of you is one of the greatest honors of my life!” -A natural “10” supermodel

#12. “Please impregnate me right now!” -A supermodel who didn’t want kids before she met me

#11. “Now that I’ve had a chance to strip for you, I’m so confused why I ever had a crush on Channing Tatum.” -Anonymous Supermodel

#10. “I’ve read countless books that said there was no such thing as a man who was as strong as you and also as sensitive and affectionate as you. You must be the only one.” -A very wise supermodel

#9. “OH MY GOD!!!! YOU ARE LITERALLY THE MOST INTERESTING MAN EVER!!! F*CK ME HARDER!” -A supermodel who was captivated by my perspective

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Study and learn. This is a woman’s “This man is so amazing I have to give him a great compliment” face. I see it all the time. Bar Refaeli is great at demonstrating.

#8. “Your life theories are amazing! You’re so smart you make Stephen Hawking seem like a special needs fourth grader.” -A very intelligent supermodel with an advanced degree in astrophysics

#7. “When I’m with you, I know I am complete. I have only to receive a text from you and my body trembles in ecstasy.” -A very honest and forthright supermodel

#6. “Any woman would be lucky to even just make eye contact with you once in her lifetime! After knowing you for a year and a half, I can say with confidence that if Nina Agdal doesn’t accept your marriage proposal she will go down in history as one of the dumbest women of all time. I mean, I hate that woman! Why won’t you propose to me instead?!!!” -Kate Upton

#5. “You’re so incredibly perceptive and intuitive. I bet you can read all women’s minds, can’t you.” -Anonymous Supermodel

#4. “I never thought I’d come 28 times in two hours. You are a sex God!” -A very satisfied supermodel

#3. “Adam Dunlap – you ARE the greatest snuggler of all time!” –Nina Agdal

#2. “You’re the best listener I’ve ever met.” -V.S. Angel

#1.  “O. M.G. the legends are true – your dick is huge. You really are a perfect man.” -Said by more than 100 supermodels. I stopped counting at around 20 since they pretty much all say this to me.

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A solid list for sure. If you don’t agree with the order let me know! And for all the women out there, I hope this article served as a solid lesson in how to compliment awesome, flawless, amazing guys like me (even though I’m the only one). Thank you for reading and applying your knowledge in the future!

P.S. Oh, and if you know any supermodels who are single and want the chance to experience how awesome I am, tell them to click here and fill out my Supermodel Girlfriend Application. If I decide to give them a chance, they’ll probably thank you every day for the rest of their lives.

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I’m not going to tell you which one of the above compliments is from Alessandra Ambrosio. But I will give you a hint: if she had met me before she had kids she would have said all of them.

Adam Dunlap

8 Reasons Why I’m the Greatest Snuggler of All Time

August 2, 2015 in Adam Dunlap, Featured Articles, Jenna Pietersen, Nina Agdal, Supermodels, Yésica Toscanini

Supermodels are constantly fighting over me and their place in the pecking order of my affections. This has become especially true over the last 30 days since I filed a restraining order against all but 3 of them. One of the many reasons why supermodels (and women everywhere) are so enamored with me is because I’m “the greatest snugglers of all time” (not my words). I’m not here to flaunt my talents, but I will explain the 8 reasons why I’m the best ever. By reading this, maybe you can learn something and become a better snuggler yourself.

8 Reasons Why I’ve The Greatest Snuggler of All Time

#1. I’m a Twin
In general, twins are the best snugglers. This is because they spend 9 months snuggling their twin in the womb, and then they usually spend the next few years of their lives sleeping in the arms of their twin. I have a twin sister, which means I basically came out of the birth canal an adept snuggler, and I’ve built on that by spending the last 29 years of my life perfecting my craft. As any supermodel will tell you, the results are mind-blowing.

#2. I’ve Had Extensive Practice Snuggling Supermodels Around The World
They say practice makes perfect, and it’s true. I get more focused snuggling practice with a more diverse group of gorgeous babes than anyone ever. My quest to find the perfect supermodel for me requires this, and the result is I spend just about every night innocently snuggling supermodels in romantic settings such as Paris, Cancun, and Macau. I learn something and get better every time.

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This is Jenna Pietersen. My memory gets hazy with all the supermodels I’ve snuggled, but I don’t think Jenna and I have ever snuggled. That’s OK. I am only one man and by definition that makes me a scarce resource. I simply don’t have time to snuggle all the gorgeous babes on the planet.

#3  I Never Break Snuggling Etiquette
If you want to be a great snuggler there are a couple natural sleeping tendencies and behaviors you have to overcome. These include things like fidgeting, snoring, sweating, stealing the covers, and talking in your sleep. Most men do at least two of these. I, however, don’t do any of these, and I never have. The result is always a very comfortable and uninterrupted night sleep for the lucky woman who falls asleep wrapped in my arms. In fact, I don’t even have a single snuggling complaint on my record.

#4. I Speak French
Trust me on this one: if you’re a woman, you want the man you’re snuggling to speak the ultimate romantic language – French. This is true even if you’re just snuggling platonically. If he doesn’t speak French you’re missing a powerful element. I speak French, ergo, my snuggle rating is higher.

#5. Harvard and Yale Concur that Snuggling Me Has Unprecedented and Powerfully Positive Biologically Effects on Women
At the request of researchers at Harvard and Yale, I have been the focused subject of multiple double-blind snuggle studies, and they have unanimously concluded that women who fall asleep in my arms experience reduced stress levels, more balance hormones, less anxiety and mood swings, and ultimately they are more rested and wake up more excited for life. In fact, I think their official conclusion was something like, “Holy smokes! Never in a million years did we dream we’d see such a positive effect from snuggling someone. Adam must be the greatest snuggler of all time! Any woman who gets to snuggle Adam Dunlap is definitely one of the luckiest women ever.” You can’t really argue this one since it’s coming from Harvard and Yale. I guess I really am that good.

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This is Yésica Toscanini from Argentina. I am open to snuggling with Yésica, but she can’t wear shoes. Gosh I hate it when supermodels try to wear shoes to bed! Socks are OK to fall asleep with, but shoes are not. When supermodels try to pull this one on me, I always kick them out of bed until they get their act together.

#6. I Don’t Judge Other Snugglers
One of the setbacks to being the greatest snuggler of all time is no one compares to me. You’d think that would make me pretentious and arrogant, but the truth is I never judge the women I snuggle with. Everyone has different snuggling abilities, and even though I’m the best, I don’t feel that makes me inherently better than any supermodels, surfer babes, or other gorgeous women who throw themselves as my feet. That’s the grace I give to women, and I’ve found they really appreciate it.

#7. My Arms Will Protect You Even If There is a 8.6 Magnitude Earthquake
As a man, one of the keys to being a good snuggler is to make your partner feel safe and protected. My broad shoulders and athletically toned physique assure women of this instantly. The result is they sleep better because as they fall asleep they subconsciously think, “Even if there is a 8.6 earthquake and this penthouse condo overlooking the ocean collapses, I know I’ll be safe in the rubble because Adam’s strong arms will shield me from the collapsing roof.” This is true, although I’ve never had to prove this one, and I’d rather not have to.

#8. My Snuggling is Endorsed by Nina Agdal
You don’t have to take my word for it. The hottest supermodel on the planet, Nina Agdal, endorses my snuggling. Go ahead and ask her if I’m a good snuggler or not. She might avoid the question and she might act coy, but when she finally gives you a solid answer it will be something like, “O. M. G. Yes! Adam is the greatest snuggler of all time!” Need I say more? Defense rests.

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Take it from the hottest supermodel on the planet. All bias aside, I think she is probably right – I am the greatest snuggler of all time.

So there you have it. Harvard, Yale, Nina Agdal and countless supermodels and surfer babes around the world corroborate the myth and confirm the truth that I’m the greatest snuggler of all time. Humbly I say, it’s a great honor to have this title, and I plan to continue sharing my snuggling abilities with gorgeous women around the world… until, of course, Nina Agdal accepts my marriage proposal, and from then on I will only snuggle her (I’m pretty sure Nina is the 2nd greatest snuggler of all time, so once it’s officially she and me, why would I snuggle anyone else?). My advice to all gorgeous women out there is to throw yourself at my feet while you still have the opportunity, and hope I give you a chance to snuggle me. If that doesn’t work, then wait until I release my book, “The Art of Snuggling,” and find a guy who has read it.

Thank you for reading, and please share this article with any eligible, elegant, supermodels you know. Plus tell them to fill out my Supermodel Girlfriend application so they can have a chance to snuggle with me. Thanks!

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The 8 Reasons Why I’m The Greatest Snuggler Of All Time

  1. I’m a Twin
  2. I’ve snuggled more gorgeous babes than any guy ever
  3. I never break snuggling etiquette
  4. I speak French
  5. Harvard and Yale concur that I am the best
  6. I don’t judge other snugglers
  7. My arms will protect you even if there is an 8.6 magnitude earthquake
  8. Nina Agdal says so
Adam Dunlap

Filing A Restraining Order Against All Supermodels

July 2, 2015 in Adam Dunlap, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Bregje Heinen, Candice Swanepoel, Carla Ossa, Cris Urena, Elyse Taylor, Karolina Kurkova, Lais Ribeiro, Lily Aldridge, Lindsay Ellingson, Maryna Linchuk, Natasha Barnard, Nina Agdal, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Samantha Hoopes, Supermodels

Enough is enough!! A year and a half ago I opened up my life to dating supermodels with the launch of my world famous Supermodel Girlfriend Application. Since then my life has become completely crazy as just about every supermodel on the planet has done their best to win my affections. The problem is, they don’t know when to stop, and they won’t leave me alone! My phone never stops ringing from supermodels calling and texting me, and they refuse to accept that sometimes I like to sleep alone as shown by the fact that they keep sneaking into my house and lying on my bed in only their VS lingerie hoping I come home and undress them fully. I mean c’mon – give a man some space! Clearly I can’t keep living under these circumstances, and this has caused me to take decisive action.

Before I announce my decision, I have a message for all supermodels:

#1. Please understand that I think you’re all gorgeous, but I’m only one man and I simply can’t date all of you at the same time. It’s just one of those things, and I’m really sorry I’m so awesome and you all want to have my babies, but I just don’t have time for all of you. Sorry!

#2. Even if you didn’t know the above, you should have been more respectful of me, and you shouldn’t have all been texting me 500 times a day with your most recent Victoria’s Secret lingerie photos and whatnot. NEWS FLASH: Guys like me don’t only care about cleavage, and you need to demonstrate more qualities besides just how hot you are when you’re half naked. Got it?

#3. I’ve made it public that I’m really interested in Nina Agdal, and I’d like for you respect that since she and I are probably going to get married, and I’m pretty sure when that happens she won’t want me dating other supermodels, so we might as well call it quits right now and save us both a lot of heartache when we can no longer get together and make out. Thank you for understanding.

Because it’s clear that supermodels worldwide are not respecting my space, I’ve decided to file a restraining order against all of them* (except for a few). Here is a list of supermodels I’ve filed restraining orders against (in alphabetical order):

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Bregje, enough is enough. I can’t seduce you every night of the week. I need some time off. Hopefully this restraining order will give us just that, and then we can try to pick up where we left off.

  • Abbey Lee Kershaw
  • Adriana Lima
  • Agyness Deyn
  • Alice Dellal
  • Alyson Le Borges
  • Amber Valletta
  • Ana Beatriz Barros
  • Angela Lindvall
  • Anja Rubik
  • Aurelie Claudel
  • Bar Rafaelli
  • Bregje Heinen
  • Brooklyn Decker
  • Brooklyn Decker
  • Candice Swanepoel
  • Carla Ossa
  • Caroline Winberg
  • Catherin McNeil
  • Chanel Iman
  • Christy Turlington
  • Cindy Taylor
  • Claudia Schieffer
  • Coco Rocha
  • Cris Urena
  • Crystal Renn
  • Daria Webowy
  • Dewi Driegen
  • Doutzen Kroes
  • Doutzen Kross
  • Ella McPherson
  • Elyse Taylor
  • Emanuela De Paula

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    Maroles, you have a right to look disappointed, but you really brought this one on yourself. Let’s cool off for a bit and see how we feel in a few months.

  • Emma Cunmulaj
  • Erin Watson
  • Eva Herzigova
  • Gemma Ward
  • Gisele Bundchen
  • Heidi Klum
  • Hilary Rhoda
  • Irina Shayk
  • Isabelie Dontana
  • Jennifer Hawkins
  • Jessica Stam
  • Jessica White
  • Jordan Dunn
  • Julie Henderson
  • Karlie Kross
  • Karolina Kurkova
  • Kate Moss
  • Kelly Brook
  • Kim Cloutier
  • Kristy Hinze
  • Lasi Ribeiro
  • Lily Aldridge
  • Lily Cole
  • Lily Donaldson
  • Lindsay Ellingson
  • Liya Kebede
  • Marisa Miller
  • Marisa Ramirez
  • Marloes Horst
  • Maryna Linchuk
  • Milla Jovovich

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    I don’t know who this supermodel is, but I’ve filed a restraining order against her because she is probably stalking me.

  • Miranda Kerr
  • Natalia Vodianova
  • Nataliya Gotsiy
  • Natasha Barnard
  • Natasha Poly
  • Noemie Lenair
  • Petra Nemcova
  • Rosi Huntington-Whiteley
  • Samantha Hoopes
  • Selita Ebanks
  • Tori Praver
  • Valerie van der Graaf
  • Yasmin Warsame

*If you’re a supermodel and you’re not mentioned on this list then I’ve still probably filed a restraining order against you because you’re probably stalking me. The supermodels I have not filed a restraining order against are Alessandra Ambrosio, Kate Upton, and of course the soon to be Mrs. Adam Dunlap (aka Nina Agdal).

Thank you everyone for your time and for respecting my dating limitations and the fact that I don’t want to have 200 kids from 86 different supermodels. I will let you know if I repeal the restraining orders and once again begin accepting supermodel girlfriend applications. Thank you.

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Nina, not only are you beautiful, you also know how to respect a man’s boundaries and give me my space when I  need it. That’s why I’m so happy we’re getting married.

Adam Dunlap

Adam Dunlap Reviews “The Choice” by Nicholas Sparks

May 26, 2015 in Adam Dunlap, Nina Agdal, Supermodels

Since the audience for SupermodelGirlfriend.com has recently become predominantly female (thanks in large part to my Underboob vs. Overboob advice article), I decided I’d review a romance novel. After all, most women love romance novels, so this article is bound to get at least 2 million reads.

I knew for my first romance novel review (I’m planning to do 3) I had to choose a solid book. So after talking to a few babe-friends who adore all romantic reads ranging from the pure-and-innocent to the extremely smutty, I went to Barnes and Noble with a direction and a focus. After reading the backs of approximately 400 books written specifically for women many of whom do not have men in their lives romantic enough to satisfy their emotional needs, I chose one called, “The Choice.” It is written by the world famous author Nicholas Sparks (the same author who wrote “A Walk To Remember” and “The Notebook”). Here is an abridged description from the back of the book:

Travis Parker has everything a man could want: a good job, loyal friends, even a waterfront home in a small-town. In full pursuit of the good life… he holds the vague conviction that a serious relationship would only cramp his style. That is, until Gabby Holland moves in next door.

Despite his attempts to be neighborly, the attractive red-head seems to have a grudge against him. Still, Travis cannot stop trying to integrate himself with his new neighbor, and his persistent efforts lead them both to the doorstep of a journey that neither could have foreseen.

The first thing that popped into my head upon reading this book description was, “Hmm, that sounds a lot like my life.” And since I can never get enough of hearing about myself, I immediately knew this book was the one, and I purchased it with enthusiasm.

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As I journeyed into the pages of this romantic read, I found out more about the two main characters. Just like the back summary alluded to, Travis Parker is an amazing man. He owns his own business, has lots of money, has great friends, he loves kids, he keeps his house spotless, he drives a nice car, he is charming, respectful, a great listener, he loves adventure, and he is athletic and very, very physically attractive. What I realized in short notice is the author was pretty much describing me. So from now on we are going to refer to the main character of the book as Adam Dunlap since I’m pretty sure that’s what Sparks was going for, he just didn’t want to pay me royalties.

Gabby Holland, as we find out, is a bit more complicated than Adam. She is in a relationship with a guy she has been dating for four years, and she recently moved states to North Carolina to be closer to him (that’s how she becomes neighbors with Adam). The guy Gabby is dating, is a great guy with a great career, and he is very affectionate and attentive to her needs. I mean, he’s clearly not as amazing as Adam, but he doesn’t have any real flaws. Really. His only semi-flaw is a lack of willingness to commit – he hasn’t proposed yet, and Gabby really, really wants a giant rock on her left ring finger. I can’t say Gabby’s character exactly relates to any females I know [wink wink], so for the sake of making her character more relateable we are going to refer to her from now on as Nina Agdal.

As the story progresses, these two neighbors, Adam and Nina, start crossing paths in a myriad of unexpected and romantically enchanting ways. And low and behold, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that after only a few encounters, Nina begins to fall for Adam like a meteor the size of Texas. That’s pretty much 2/3rds of the book. To find out the details and what exactly happens next and how, you’ll have to read it. That said, I’m going to spoil at least part of the story so that I can use that as the crux of my book review and the crux of my conclusion about romance novels:

SEMI-SPOILER: after one weekend together, Nina breaks up with her 4-year boyfriend to be with Adam. That’s choice #1. The actual choice, as in “The Choice” comes later in the book.

The choice by Nina Agdal to break up with her 4-year boyfriend in order to be with Adam Dunlap is a sudden and unexpected decision, and it has brought me to a very definitive conclusion about romance novels and women. My conclusion is that women don’t read romance novels for the romance; they don’t read romance novels for the love stories; and they don’t read romance novels because they present perfect prince charming guys that are nice to fantasize about because they don’t really exist (by evidence of my existence, for example, these men do exist). Rather, women actually read romance novels so they can live vicariously through the female characters who do things that they personally would never, ever, ever, ever, ever do in real life. After all, what woman would up-and-leave her 4-year boyfriend (who’s a great guy) to be with Adam Dunlap after only spending a weekend with him? Hmm, I know what you’re thinking: “Well of course all of them.” Thank you for that vote of confidence, but the reality is it has never happened, and it most likely never will. Think about it. Really. It won’t happen. Even though it should, it won’t. But they should at least consider it. And they will. But it won’t happen. But I hope for them it does. But it probably won’t.

“The Choice” by Nicholas Sparks is a smooth and enjoyable read. It is filled with subtle and innocent romance, great dialogue, and even when the story gets hot and heavy the book never betrays its PG marketing. The book doesn’t have anything deep in it, and yet it’s comforting in that way because its shallowness makes it easy to enjoy, the way a lot of relationships are – it doesn’t rock the boat, and you still get turned on. It’s a really nice feeling. As such, I highly recommend “The Choice” if you’re looking for the casual and entertaining romantic read. And if you happen to be looking for something more, then the book is actually a MUST read. The key when you read it is to look beyond the contrived romanticism in order to see the author’s clear, clear message: realize your boyfriend’s lack of willingness to commit makes him a dead end, and leave him for Adam Dunlap who is clearly better anyway… especially if your name is Nina Agdal.

This has been Adam Dunlap’s romance novel review #1 of 3. I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you go pick up the book! (Click here to buy it) Next on my to-read list is something really, really smutty. I plan to follow that up with something in the middle that’s written by a female just to have some more perspective to this female book-reading craze which clearly isn’t leaving any time soon. Stay tuned for those reviews, and thank you as always for being an avid reader of SupermodelGirlfriend.com!

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I searched the entire internet and couldn’t find any supermodels with red hair. So I just included a photo of Nina since she is the one we were all imagining when we read the book anyway.

Adam Dunlap

Happy 1 Year Anniversary to SupermodelGirlfriend.com!

April 19, 2015 in Nina Agdal, Supermodels

One year ago today I launched the website SupermodelGirlfriend.com. Birthed out of the groundbreaking and yet incredibly intuitive dating compatibility questionnaire titled Adam Dunlap’s Supermodel Girlfriend Application, the site was initially founded as a prominent personal quest but has grown to captivate and inspire readers around the globe.

The site has received international press from major news organizations, and it has even garnered critical acclaim from feminists groups who have collectively called it, “A literary masterpiece…,” and, “…inspiring to women everywhere who aspire to be the perfect girlfriends and bikini-sporting-lawn-mowing housewives.” Suffice it to say, I have been honored and humbled by the overwhelmingly positive feedback the site has received.

Unfortunately, the site has thus far failed in achieving its primary goal – finding me my long-term supermodel honey. But fear not for I am neither deterred nor disheartened. In spite of the setbacks, I am determined to press on in the name of love with an unwavering resolve to find the perfect supermodel for me. And believe you me, even if that means I have to date every supermodel on the planet in order to find her, then by golly I will! [insert ‘determined’ emoticon here]

Even though the SMGF site has gone 365 days without achieving its #1 goal, today is still a very exciting occasion. And in celebration of this momentous 1 year SMGF anniversary, I’ve decided to share my personal top-5 favorite SMGF articles of all time. Here they are for your reading pleasure and educational pick-me-up.

Article #5 – Adam Dunlap’s Supermodel Girlfriend Application

To kick of the top-5, I’m including the article that started it all – Adam Dunlap’s Supermodel Girlfriend Application. Since its original publishing in March 2014, this revolutionary compatibility questionnaire has been filled out by countless gorgeous babes, and it has gone on to set the international standard by which the dateability of all supermodels is now judged. eHarmony was so impressed by it that they have even licensed it, and they now include the entire application in their general compatibility questionnaires. Click the link below to read the application, and make sure to pass it on to any single supermodels you know.

http://www.supermodelgirlfriend.com/supermodels/alessandra-ambrosio/supermodel-girlfriend-application/

Article #4 – A Break-up Letter From My Ex-Supermodel Girlfriend

The last year hasn’t been all VS fantasy bras and sunshine. For a considerable span, I was dating a supermodel who I thought was the one. I was even looking at rings. But then she did the unthinkable – she broke up with me. I can’t say I am yet fully healed from the breakup, and it still pains me to be reminded of the story. However, her breakup letter was so endearing and complimentary that I felt compelled to include it in my top 5. My hope is that in some way by posting this, the letter will reverberate through the universe and work its magic. After all, my supermodel ex does speak very highly of me in the letter. If a potential SMGF ever wanted a recommendation about me, this would be the one to read.

http://www.supermodelgirlfriend.com/featured-articles/a-breakup-letter-from-my-ex-supdermodel-girlfriend/

Article #3 – The Carla Osssa Beauty Test™

In my third favorite article of the year I unveiled my patent-pending Carla Ossa Beauty Test™. I designed this test for men to use as a tried-and-true objective method to analyze a female’s physical attractiveness. The test supersedes personal emotional biases, it provides consistent results, and it is impervious to the well documented beer-goggle side effect caused by the consumption of alcohol. Click to read about the test and learn how to implement it.

http://www.supermodelgirlfriend.com/supermodels/carla-ossa/the-carla-ossa-beauty-test/

Article #2 – Supermodels with 7-11 Mustache Straw Mustaches

By the time I wrote my #2 favorite article in SMGF history, I had been inundated with so many supermodels vying for my attention that I was starting to lose touch with reality. It was so disorienting that in order to regain my focus I stepped away from the supermodel dating game in search of the spark I needed to get back on track. It didn’t take long, and what I uncovered in the process was as exciting as it was unexpected. Read to find out what it was and how I used it to take my supermodel-analyzing abilities to the next level.

http://www.supermodelgirlfriend.com/supermodels/nina-agdal/supermodels-with-7-11-mustache-straw-mustaches/

Article #1 – My Marriage Proposal To Nina Agdal

In my favorite article of the year I wrote a completely originally and, dare I say, incredibly romantic marriage proposal to the world famous supermodel Nina Agdal. As of today, I regret to report that Nina has yet to accept my proposal, and we have yet to get married and start making babies. But I am not concerned. After all, she is only 23. And as we all know, most women at or under the age of 23 have to date around and waste a significant amount of time on emotionally abusive, dumb, socially awkward, and downright uninspiring boyfriends before they realize that prince charming was right there waiting all along. So I can’t fault Nina for doing the same thing – it’s just the way women are. In the meantime, whether you are a man or woman, I recommend clicking the link to read what a real marriage proposal is supposed to sound like.

http://www.supermodelgirlfriend.com/featured-articles/my-marriage-proposal-poem-to-nina-agdal/

I’ll end this post by saying thank you to everyone for supporting my site for the last 365 days! It has been a great year, a great journey, and (save for the SMGF breakup) I have enjoyed every minute of it. I have a strong feeling this is just the beginning of my supermodel adventures. I’m looking forward to all that’s in store, and I plan to continue bringing you great new articles filled with stories, inspiration, and photos.

Thank you for being a part of the journey, and cheers to the next 365 days of SupermodelGirlfriend.com!

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Nina Agdal. Clearly she and I will be perfect together.

Adam Dunlap

Overboob vs. Underboob: Which is the Better Look For You? (part 2)

April 7, 2015 in Adam Dunlap, Maryna Linchuk, Nina Agdal, Supermodels

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If you are here and haven’t read Part 1 of this article, click here and read before proceeding!

If you don’t, you may become thoroughly confused, especially if you are a woman since you don’t know what this debate is all about.

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For the last 8 months, I’ve been laboring over the best method in which to officially, definitively, and unbiasedly resolve and pronounce the better boob look: the Overboob Look or the Underboob Look. After many sleepless nights spent caressing and analyzing supermodel boobs up close and personal in my king size bed which overlooks the Mediterranean Sea (aka research), I finally realized the method – pin the looks against each other in a 5-round head-to-head visual battle of the titans.

For the battle format I’m going to present 5 picture-to-picture match-ups of Overboobs vs. Underboobs. We’re going to let the boobs battle it out, and I will accompany the match-ups with LIVE action commentary. By the end of the 5 rounds, I am confident that we’ll finally know which boob look is the winner and, thus, which boob look you can definitively rock on the daily to hopefully one day get a rock (if you know what I mean ;-). Along the way, I have a feeling we’re also going to uncover some other great tips you ladies can use to spruce up your look and make sure your man actually looks away from the TV when he talks to you.

Without further ado, let’s get to it, let’s find an answer to this historic debate, and let’s throw away your old raggedy self for the hotter better version of you by finding which boob look is better.

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Round #1: Shy Girl vs. Timid Girl

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Round #1: Shy Girl vs. Timid Girl

We are kicking off our historic Overboob vs. Underboob night of bouts with a match-up that I love. Not only do we have too very unassuming women pinned against each other, I also think this matchup really shows what some good boobage can do for your confidence level and love life.

Here on the left we have Maryna Linchuk who is representing Team Overboob. She is obviously very shy and clearly even a little insecure, but she stands strong in her white and pink lingerie combo which comes across nicely. She is matched up against the girl on the right who is representing Team Underboob and is obviously very timid and lacks confidence as well. If it wasn’t for their boobs displayed so prominently, I’m sure you’d see all the insecurities that these women clearly have. That’s what so encouraging about this match-up – it shows that the way you position your boobs can really change your disposition for the better, and men will notice. Take note and choose wisely.

So now the decision, which boob-look make these equally insecure girls look more confident and ready to get down and dirty? In this case, I gotta go with Ms. Timid on the right representing Team Underboob! It’s hard to beat the underboob + jean short combo. I’m pretty sure just about every guy on the planet wants to fondle those perky spheres even if they are fake. And I’m pretty sure any guy will want to fondle your melons if you can sport even a fraction of this look. What a great first round taken by the Underboob Look.

Score: Overboobs 0 to Underboobs 1

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Round #2: Typical Soccer Mom vs. Typical Soccer Mom

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Round #2: Typical Soccer Mom vs. Typical Soccer Mom

For round 2 we have a typical soccer mom on the left going up against another typical soccer mom on the right. I’m so thankful we found such ordinary soccer moms to volunteer for this momentous standoff!

It’s a close battle between the boob displays, so we have to dig deeper for this one. The only difference between these two typical soccer moms that I can see is how hard these two are willing to work. You can tell that the typical soccer mom on the left loves her kids and is there to support them and scream encouragement even if they suck. The typical soccer mom on the right is obviously there to do the same. However, typical mom #2 has clearly gone the extra mile and has volunteered to play line judge. She has even gotten a little dirty doing it. Bravo #2! You’re a great example for aspiring moms everywhere. Also, take note, ladies, because those referee uniforms look really great. Totally vogue. You might want to consider getting one to wear around the house on your day off. They are so much better than baggy, frumpy sweatpants, I can assure you.

So now the decision. For this round, the differing boob-looks ultimately manifested in a different energy which is reflected in the commitment of the soccer moms themselves. So the winner is…. extra-hard working, typical, dirty soccer mom! Alright! Everyone say it with me – Way to go Mom!!! And way to take home another round for the Underboob contingent.

Score: Overboobs 0 to Underboobs 2

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Round #3: Blue Eyed Stunner vs. Brown Eyed Bombshell

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Round #3: Blue Eyed Stunner vs. Brown Eyed Bombshell

Some guys like blue eyes, and some guys like brown eyes. But one thing all guys like is boobs. That’s why I love this round #3 Overboob vs. Underboob match-up – it takes eye color completely out of the equation so we can focus on which boob look is authentically the best. #iLikeBrownEyes

We have Blue Eyed Stunner on the left representing Team Overboob. She’s sporting Armani underwear and a sultry look. I like. She’s pinned against our home-grown Brown Eyed Bombshell on the right representing Team Underboob. She’s basically in the process of getting undressed which I like, too. As always is the case with rating babes based on only one photo, we men are really good at it. In this case, however, the result is going to have to be a split decision because let’s face it – any time a guy sees any part of your boobs he’s gonna love you all the more regardless. Girls, you might want to keep that in mind next time you’re at the bar and you can’t find someone to take you home.

Now the decision. As always, this is a tough one, but I’ve tallied the score cards and I am pleased to announce that the winner of this round goes to…..……….…. home-grown Brown Eyed Bombshell on the right representing Team Underboob! (oh, and clearly this girl is super sweet and kind which is tooootallly not important but it’s always great to see the nice ones win). Way to go #2 for practically taking off your clothes and, more importantly, taking home the win for the Team Underboob and all us guys in the brown eyed camp. #nobias

Score: Overboobs 0 to Underboobs 3

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Round #4: Normal Housewife vs. Normal Housewife

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Round #4: Normal Housewife vs. Normal Housewife

For round #4 we have another very special match-up. We found two very normal housewives and asked them to go head to head for the sake of ending this man debate once and for all. Let’s give a giant round-of-applause for these two normal housewives who didn’t even take the time to dress up or do their hair. I love the natural looks!

Housewife #1 (on the left) is representing Team Overboob. She looks like she just got out of bed after I got home from slaving away to make enough money to pay for her expensive bed sheets (which I don’t care about) and her designer purse purchases (which I don’t care about, either). Housewife #2 (on the right) is representing Team Underboob. She looks like she has been working all day to make our house spotless. I gotta say, ladies, I think I speak for all men when I say we have a special place in our hearts for women who clean up after our messes and never complain. That’s definitely a life lesson to put in your bra strap for a future date.

Ok, so I must tangent here and say something else that is soooo important. And this is a personal tangent but definitely worth sharing. Any girl that is like Housewife #2 (on the right), is what I call a “Proverb 31 Woman.” This nickname is inspired by the account given by Solomon of a woman in Proverbs 31 in the Old Testament of the Bible. Look it up and read his account and I think you’ll see that the resemblance is striking. Bravo, Solomon. You nailed it! Gals, trust me when I say that becoming a Proverb 31 Woman should definitely be on your bucket list.

Now to the cards. Both of these typical housewives are extremely sexy, and I’m pretty sure I’d let both of them sleep in my bed and clean my house any time they wanted whether on the same night or alternate evenings. And yet, a decision must be made, so the winner is [DRUMROLL] the hardworking, Proverbs 31 housewife on the right representing Team Underboob! Ladies, I hope you’re taking notes and reading between the lines. There is a reason Team Underboob continues its boob domination, and it’s more than nipple deep.

Score: Overboobs 0 to Underboobs 4

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Round #5: Nina Agdal vs. Nina Agdal (Match of the Millennia)

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Round #5: The Match of the Millennia – Nina Agdal vs. Nina Agdal

Oh my gawd. I mean really. Oh. My. Gawwwwd. I never thought we’d see a matchup like this. Really, never. The final and definitive round of our historic contest is Nina Agdal vs. Nina Agdal. Match of the Millennia indeed!

Before I get into my analysis, I can’t say enough about this match-up. This round #5 Over vs. Under bout clearly rivals the famous Fischer vs. Byrne match of ‘56. It’s that exciting and unexpected. I’m sure we’ll be talking about it for decades to come. I mean really, put these two babes in mud pit and I’m sure it’d get more Pay Per View buys than the upcoming Pacquiao-Mayweather fight. Nothing but “WOW” and sophisticated captivation here. It’s a perfect contest that I can’t say enough about. What. A. Matchup!!

Um, ok, so this matchup is so amazing that I’m actually speechless, drooling, and without any ability to analyze. So I’m just gonna make a rash albeit confident decision. The smile wins me over. The Underboob look wins again making it a clean sweep!

Final Score: Overboobs 0 to Underboobs 5

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So there you have it world. The answer men (and women, although they didn’t know it) have been searching for for centuries – the Underboob Look is greater than the Overboob Look! In addition to this groundbreaking decision, I’m also pleased with how much ground we covered in this article about other ways “to be a better woman.” Ladies, the results are clear and they have implications far beyond just a boob look:

If you want to be the hottest woman possible and if you want to be a woman worth marrying and staying with, then you need to be a timid and a hard working soccer mom who isn’t afraid to volunteer and get muddy, wear brown contact lenses if you don’t have deep brown eyes, stop buying designer purses with your man’s credit card, scrub the house every day from top to bottom, smile, never complain, have boobs as perfect as Nina Agdal, make sure your name is Nina Agdal, and when I come home from work just be naked because that’s really the best way to impress me, Adam Dunlap, and pretty much every man out there. Thank you in advance, Nina!

BUT, and I say BUT because I understand that’s asking a lot, BUT if for any reason you can’t do some or all of the above, then consider your easy fallback as simply rocking the Underboob Look. What we’ve found today is the Underboob Look IS definitively the best look for you! It will help you discover who you are, it will help you become more confident, and it will overall take you a long, long way to landing and keeping the man of your dreams.

That’s the end of this article. Thank you everyone for reading! I’m really excited to now be writing for a female audience as I know I have so much to impart on all of you. In my next article, I’ll discuss whether it’s more attractive let your nipples show through your shirt or to keep them covered. I’m leaning towards, “Yes, of course, let them show!”, but we’ll break it down and go into detail so you gals can know why and how to apply it.

Wishing you all a great week!

Adam Dunlap

Overboob vs. Underboob: Which is the Better Look For You? (part 1)

April 7, 2015 in Adam Dunlap, Maryna Linchuk, Nina Agdal, Supermodels

My Supermodel Girlfriend site has taken a lot of flak over the last year or so. In that time, about 2.6 million people have called it, “Objectifying to women although quite sexy,” and another 600,000 or so have called it, “Downright repulsive but oddly addictive and fun to read.” Although I can see how the simultaneous public jealousy and admiration of all the supermodel attention I get could cause these mixed (and ultimately unfair) reviews, I really did take all the feedback to heart.

The result of my heartfelt reconsideration of this site is I’ve decided to make a prominent change – I’ve decided to start writing my articles specifically for women. (and that’s different from the past where I specifically wrote for supermodels who wanted to marry me). I now intend to write for the general female public with the aim of helping all women everywhere find true love, please their man, and simply become hotter. This article is the first in that pursuit, and in advance I will say, “You are welcome!!” because I know all you women will enjoy reading this article because of its great descriptions, pictures, and insight. Plus you are going to learn so much!

Alright ladies, so now that this article is for you, let’s not waste time talking about my latest supermodel threesome (that’s definitely worth talking about, but we’ll save it for another time). Let’s jump right into why you are here. For the same reasons that you read all those fashion and style magazines, you’re here because you want to become more attractive to men and make them (or him specifically) go crazy over you every day for the rest of your life. Luckily, you now have me in your corner, and I think I’ve found the perfect adjustment that will help you accomplish this impossible-until-now goal. It’s based around the Overboob vs. Underboob conundrum.

Now some backtracking to bring all you ladies up to speed. The Overboob vs. Underboob conundrum is actually an ongoing man-debate that has been raging in secret for the better part of 600 years. It is based around two different “boob looks,” (the Overboob Look vs the Underboob Look) and men are divided on which boob look is hotter and makes your lady humps more deserving of being fondled by one of us. Until today no man has ever provided a definitive resolution to the question because men are dumb. But I am the profound and unique exception to the all-encompassing “Men Are Dumb” rule, so I have dutifully taken it upon myself to officially end this debate once and for all through this article. Clearly everyone stands to benefit from this announcement (especially all you women), so you can all thank me in your adoring fan mail which I know you will write soon.

Let’s get specific. Pictures say a thousand words, and since men aren’t good at using words (I am, again, the unique exception) I’ve decided to explain the Overboob and Underboob looks via pictures (which are always the catalysts for these man-debates anyway). Along with the pictures, I have included succinct descriptions. I’ve also written some of my own feedback so you women can better understand the delineation between the looks and how you can implement them to be perceived as a more elegant, stunning, and worthwhile booty call.

Look #1: The Overboob Look

Below is a picture of the original Overboob Look. Basically any look is considered an Overboob Look when you can see the top part of the boobs. It’s super classic and can be worn when you go out and when you stay in. Truly put, it’s always a man-pleaser no matter the occasion. Plus with today’s push-up bras and revolutionary “socks in your bra” tricks, pretty much any woman can sport this look no matter your actual cup size.

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Penelope Cruz shows us what a simple and strong Overboob look is. It’s classy and inviting, but it doesn’t have to be so forward that guys think you’re a whore.

Look #2: The Underboob Look

The picture below shows a classic Underboob Look. Basically a look is considered an Underboob Look when you can see the bottom part of the boobs and the rest of the mammary is covered. Comparatively speaking, between the two looks, the Underboob look is the far rarer one. And that’s great because one of the big advantages with this look is it still has that “originality” edge so you won’t feel like you’re copying some other chick (I know you gals are really sensitive about being original). Overall, the Overboob look is a a fantastic look that shows a great style and presence and can be worn almost religiously due to its versatility..

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From my experience, camp counselors that sport the Underboob Look are some of the best counselors. I’ve found that in general they seem to be kind and encouraging, and I think that’s really indicative of what the Underboob Look brings out in the women who sport it. More on this later.

Look #3: Overboob Look (variation #1)

This third picture, shown below, is another example of an Overboob Look. It’s a variation because it’s clearly different from the Penelope Cruz example as it starts to show the sides of the boobs as well. But even though more of the boob is showing, it’s still considered “Overboob.” Don’t let it confuse you – I like to say, “When it doubt, just assume it’s Overboob.” This is definitely a great variation to consider for all you gals. You can sport this look in your personal “It’s time to please my man” time, and you can pull it off in public with a really elegant dress that is specifically made for this look. You really can’t go wrong with Overboob variation #1.

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Gemma Atkinson kindly volunteered this photo to us. It shows that the classic version of the Overboob look doesn’t have to be restricted to just showing the top part of your boobs. I hope that’s encouraging to you gals out there. It really is OK to think outside the box when you’re thinking about how to show off your hooters.

Look #4: Great Boob Look (aka Overboob Look (variation #2))

The 4th picture below shows a boob look that is really common especially on Miami beaches and in Brazil. But, ummm, I’m not actually sure what this look is called since it shows all sides of the boob. Usually as men we just call this look, “Awesome.” Some looks don’t need to be classified as they are too good to be pigeonholed with dumb man-delineations. So technically I’d argue this is is “Overboob Look (variation #2),” but honestly no one really cares. If you have boobs like these, you can sport them anytime, anywhere, and with complete confidence. However, my recommendation is to be a bit more reserved. Use this as a “summer only” look or break it out during an impromptu blizzard to be extra sexy.

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Special thanks to Kate Upton and Sports Illustrated for working together to bring us this very educational capture!

So there you have it. That was a quick photo-guide overview to the two main boob looks. Does that all make sense? Again, and to be clear, there are really only two boob looks (not including being topless), but I decided to publish four photos in order to answer the clarifying questions that are always there. Now that all you ladies are up to speed, let’s move on to figure out which boob look (Overboob or Underboob) is definitively better and which look is the best for you.

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Click here to read Part 2 and find out which boob look is the best for you!

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Adam Dunlap

In Addition To Supermodels, I Am Now Willing To Date…

January 14, 2015 in Adam Dunlap, Alana Blanchard, Bree Kleintop, Erica Hosseini, Nina Agdal, Sally Fitzgibbons, Supermodels, Surfer Babes

Usually when I write articles for SupermodelGirlfriend.com I write about fun experiences like how many female flight attendants tried to sit on my lap the last time I flew first class across the Atlantic. Or I tell inspirational stories like that one time I refused to date that Playboy Playmate because her nipples weren’t quite perfect. But on this day of our time, January 14th, 2015, I’ve decided to keep things a lot calmer, and instead of writing about another one of my laborious tropical adventures in obliged response to a supermodel date request, I’ve decided to stay succinct in order to make a very important announcement. I am broadening my horizons. In addition to dating supermodels, I am now willing to date professional surfer babes.

Now a step back for those of you who are intrigued to find out how I arrived at this incredibly sudden and extremely newsworthy decision. If you didn’t know, I started my supermodel girlfriend quest 8 months ago with the publishing of my Supermodel Girlfriend Application and this subsequent website. The primary goal of this article and site was to find the perfect supermodel for me, make her the happiest woman on the planet, and live our lives together happily ever after.

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Nina Agdal has yet to apply to be my supermodel girlfriend. I’m a bit disappointed about that, but as we all know, most girls need to get put through the ringer by jerk dudes before they realize that prince charming was right there all along. Clearly Nina is still in that ringer, so I’m OK giving her more time.

The application got a great response with countless gorgeous supermodels all vying to be my one and only. Unfortunately none of the supermodels quite panned out, and it started to become really frustrating. In fact, at one point I was so frustrated that I even bent my own rules and started giving the applicants multiple chances to pass the ADGF Striptease Challenge (just one of the multiple standard evaluation tests I put all potential girlfriends through). This test specifically seemed to be giving the girls real trouble, but I couldn’t just scrap it. It’s one of the core tests for goodness sakes! And I don’t let girls get past second base unless they score at least a 9.2 on it. I was stymied!

In any case, it wasn’t just the lack stripping ability that caused me to X these girls (with women it’s never just one thing. Am I right, guys?). Girl after girl after girl simply proved inadequate and unable both physically and intellectually to live up to the rigorous standards and logical expectations of a man as amazing as me. Add to that the one that got away, and for the first time ever I felt like I was literally failing at life! But in times like this, the age old adage kept coming to mind: the night is always darkest just before you get a blow job (Am I right, guys?). And metaphorically speaking that’s exactly what happened to me.

One evening after having just escorted another inadequate Playmate out the door of my penthouse suite, I had a dream that changed everything. It was one of those dreams that was more vivid than the 4K resolution on my 80 inch television. I was at a beach side theme park which I owned, and I was hosting a swimsuit photo contest where supermodel babes had to strike their best bikini poses while mid-free fall on the main roller coaster. We had the high speed cameras and everything, and of course I was the head judge so it was going really well and everyone was having a great time. And then it happened. Something caught my eye, and I turned and looked out over the ocean and saw her. Glistening on the water’s surface was a half-naked, half-mermaid, half-angel like creature glued to a surfboard and carving the ocean swells. I flew to her and landed on her board, and we surfed tandem until the sun went down. Then I woke up.

The dream felt like a sign from heaven, and when I opened my eyes, my previous despair and frustration were gone, and for the first time in about an hour I had real hope. The message was clear – I had to expand my dating net to include the hottest surfer babes on the planet. So that’s what I’ve done.

If you’re a surfer babe (and preferably on the WSL world tour), and you’ve been frustrated for the last 8 months that you weren’t qualified to be my girlfriend, well turn that frown upside down because now you are. Just click here to apply. For the record, I prefer if you are either in the top 10 in the world rankings or have been named at least once to Maxim’s Hot 100 List. Having an Aussie accent also wins big points with me, and I have a soft spot for babes sponsored by Roxy. However, regardless of your accolades or sponsors, I’m open to considering applications from all professional surfer girls (and even really, really serious “amateur” surfers if you haven’t made the tour yet). When you submit your application, don’t be nervous – just be you! And make sure in your photos that your boobs look as big as possible because those are the two things that really matter.

Also, if you’re not a hardcore surfer babe but you are good friends with a really cute one, then please share this article on her Facebook wall so she knows that she officially has a chance to be my girlfriend. We don’t want any lovely surf-angels missing their opportunity at life long happiness. Remember, ultimately this quest isn’t about me – it’s about making some gorgeous supermodel/surfer-angel the happiest woman on the planet. I’m selfless like that.

Below I’ve included some great photos of some stunning surfer babes that I’d definitely let try to pass my striptease challenge. Looking at them now, I really don’t know why I didn’t let these angelic beings into my potential girlfriend net before today. Oh well, that’s life sometimes. I hope you agree with me that my expansion is a wise choice.

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Bree Kleintop. Surfer girls are clearly the bomb. Do I need more evidence? Nah, but I’ll give you more because I’m cool like that :-)

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Bree again. Clearly my parents did me a disservice by allowing me to grow up playing basketball. They should have shipped my butt off to Cali, Hawaii, or Australia and forced me to take up surfing.

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Alana Blanchard. Worth her wait in mangos.

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Annnnd Alana doing her thing. It’s worth stating that any girl who can do this is already halfway to my heart. When it comes down to it, I’m really not that picky :-)

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Erica Hosseini. There’s something about girls holding a surfboard and smiling. I don’t know what it is, but as of two days ago it gets me every time.

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I’ve never understood why women who are comfortable walking around in a bikini, then get all embarrassed if you catch them only wearing their lingerie or a bra or something. It’s the same thing -_- Anyway, just like supermodels, apparently professional surfer babes sometimes take photos in lingerie. I should probably make that a requirement for my application. 5 stars for Erica Hosseini.

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I’ve looked at a lot of pictures of surfer girls for the writing of this article, and I’m confident in saying that as of right now, Sally Fitzgibbons is my absolute favorite. She’s simply the best. If you can’t see, I’m not going to explain it.

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Ms. Fitzgibbons with the board and a smile. If I didn’t have all my SMGF applications to sort through, this photo would be a life ruiner. Clearly being willing to date surfer babes was a good choice. Maybe supermodels aren’t so special after all.

Thank you so much for reading my article! And thank you for sharing it on Facebook and Twitter at least 100 times, and helping an amazing (albeit lonely) surfer babe find me – the man of her dreams. I’m sure she’ll thank you every day for the rest of her life once we tie the knot.

 

Adam Dunlap

A Breakup Letter From My Ex-Supermodel Girlfriend

October 23, 2014 in Adam Dunlap, Lindsay Ellingson, Nina Agdal, Supermodels

As some of you know, 4 months ago to the day, my supermodel girlfriend and I broke up. It was as sudden, unexpected, and as surprising as anything I have ever experienced. Suffice it to say it completely rocked my world. Plus this breakup was especially hard for me because I was ready to put a ring on it :\ And, yes, if that previous sentence is any indication, you are correct in assuming that she is the one who broke up with me.

Of course, I’m sure your next question is, “Adam, why in the world did she break up with you? Clearly that has never happened before and clearly we thought it never would.” Thank you for that kind thought. I will validate your high opinion of me once again and confirm that not even one of the 7+ billion people on the planet thought a girl would ever break up with me. And yet, I guess nightmares do come true because here we are.

There is a small silver lining in the break up… in a way, I suppose. The breakup actually came with an honest and forthright explanation from her which is more courtesy than many people get. For that I am forever grateful. The girl of my dreams with hips that made power lifters weak in the knees and boobs that made men thirsty in the middle of Thailand’s monsoon season, actually broke up with me in the form of a letter.

As part of the healing process, I felt I should publish this letter publicly, right here, on my Supermodel Girlfriend website. After all, she was a supermodel and she was my girlfriend, so it kind of makes sense :\ In any case, I have copied her letter, word for absolute word, and you can read it below. The only thing I omitted was her name at the end which I have done in the complete and utter heartbreaking sadness that I am still partially experiencing. Plus I like to keep the specifics of my personal life quite private, so I prefer to keep her identity a secret because that’s how I do things.

Without further a-heartbreaking-do, here is the letter.

supermodel-girlfriend-breakup-adam-dunlap

This is not a picture of my ex-smgf. This is just Lindsay Ellingson. But my now ex-supermodel girlfriend looked a lot like her in a lot of ways.

_________________________

Dear Adam,

It is with a heavy heart that I write you the most painful letter I have ever written in my life. I don’t really know how to say what I am about to say, and I don’t know if it’ll make any sense at all. I’m just a supermodel, and I know I process everything emotionally like all women do, so I’m sure this is going to sound sporadic and unthought out. But I swear this to you: what I am about to say makes sense to me in an inexplicably romantic and desire-filled cosmic way. And I’m hoping that you will be able to read my mind the way you always did and understand the depths of my heart like no one, but you, ever could.

We need to break up. Or better said, I need to break us up. Because of you, the last 3 months of my life have been the most amazing 3 months any woman could ever experience. In fact, they have been so good that I can’t stand it anymore. That’s exactly why I have to go.

Ever since I met you it’s like my life has literally come to a blissful halt at the hands of romantic perfection. The only things I ever think about anymore are how perfect you are, how well you treat me, and how I can give you better blow jobs. The way you whisper in my ear and the way you hold me, it’s like the rest of the world disappears when I’m with you. And when you’re gone, I can’t figure out how to snap back to the reality that sometimes you aren’t there cuddling me like my perfect larger spoon. Even when I’m on a Victoria’s Secret lingerie shoot and I hear someone say the name “Adam”, my nipples get hard and we have to take a five minute break for me to calm down. I literally can’t get away from the thought of you, and how much I want to be literally rocking your socks every minute of every day.

Your perfection as a man and your perfection as a romantic partner is so comprehensively captivating that my perspective on men has been completely changed because of you. You set the bar so high in every way that the other day Brad Pitt said hi to me, and I felt like I was talking to a Jabba the Hutt wannabe. Your caringness, compassion, and understanding is so moving that I’m constantly questioning my deservingness of your attention and stare. When you look at me I can’t find the back of your hazel eyes, and it feels like my heart is being touched by the archangel Michael himself. And that’s just the emotional part. If I talked about the physical, my back would probably start arching just writing it out, as you know all too well.

Everything you ever said to me, everything, put butterflies in my stomach. The time you recited The Notebook entirely from memory was one of the most romantic experiences I think anyone could ever have. And yet even simple things you said like, “Hey,” threw my female anatomy into a glorious fit of desire that was only matched by the unfathomable speed with which my heart constantly beat because you were in my life. Your compassion, graciousness, patience, warmth, and love permeated everything you ever did and said to me, and I felt completely protected and safe just knowing you were probably on the same continent as me. I know I’ve never done anything to deserve something or someone as wonderful as you, and that’s why it is has been so difficult for me to write this letter.

I know I’ll never find a guy like you again because I know none others exist. If they did, there would be legends about them, and Hollywood would have made countless films in their honor. But I think I’ll be OK without you. I think. The three months we spent together will last me a lifetime of the most devote chastity and more. That’s how good you were to me, and that’s how much you will always stay with me.

I hope you understand my emotional ramblings of thoughts and feelings. This is the hardest decision I’ve ever made, and I’m sure I’ll regret it countless times in my future and maybe even every day without fail. But I also know, you will understand, and that brings me peace at least at some level.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything you gave me and in every way. I love you forever and always will.

Your [gorgeous supermodel babe]

____________________

Four months to the day have passed since she wrote me this letter, and I’m still trying to find ways to heal. In my ever present abilities to interpret the thoughts and emotions of women, I do understand her letter as she thought I would. But it still hurts, and I think that’s something most people can relate to. If you are so compelled, please leave your comments of comfort and support in the section below. It would really mean a lot to me.

nina-agdal-supermodel-girlfriend-adam-dunlap

I guess now that I’m single again, I can re-start my pursuit of my favorite supermodel, Nina Agdal. I’m not sure if Nina can handle my awesomeness, but time will tell.

 

Adam Dunlap

Supermodels with 7-11 Mustache Straw Mustaches

June 30, 2014 in Adam Dunlap, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Candice Swanepoel, Cris Urena, Lily Aldridge, Maryna Linchuk, Natasha Barnard, Nina Agdal, Samantha Hoopes, Supermodels

I recently encountered a very troubling problem in my life: I felt like I lost the objective ability to rate how hot a supermodel is. You see, in the beginning rating supermodels was easy. It was all about analyzing very simple inputs such as boob size, number of magazine covers landed, and lingerie color preference. But lately I’ve been so inundated with supermodels trying to seduce me on private beaches around the world that they’ve all kind of jumbled together, and I feel like I can no longer tell which ones are actually worth undressing. It’s like information overload in the worst way possible, and it felt like my life was falling apart.

In my darkest hour (which happened yesterday), I had no other choice but to take some time away from the supermodel dating scene in order to re-find my center. Lucky for me and anxious supermodels everywhere, it didn’t take long, and like an anvil landing on the head of Wile E Coyote, the answer hit me: the only way to objectively determine how hot a supermodel is, is to give her a mustache.

Inspired by 7-11’s new mustache straw mustaches (which are totally awesome, go buy one right now!), I’ve decided to pin 7-11 mustache straw mustaches on my favorite supermodels. My point in doing this is to hopefully re-spark my objective ability to figure out which supermodels to accept date requests from. And in case you think I’m crazy, realize that my thinking is pretty sound. It goes like this: if she has a mustache and she’s still hot then she has full permission to seduce me at any time. Makes sense, right? I thought so.

With my purpose clearly stated, below are a few photos of supermodels with 7-11 mustache straw mustaches. And just FYI, if you click each photo then a new window will open and you’ll see the same supermodel without a mustache. So you can compare :-)

Let’s get this supermodel-mustache-rating party started!

candice-swanepoel-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

Candice, for a time there I was wondering about you. But now thanks to 7-11, I know for sure – you are a fox. You have my full permission to seduce me at any time on any private beach in the world.

adriana-lima-with-a-mustache

Ah, why hello there Ms. Lima. To be honest, I have always questioned your beauty. Forgive me, it will never happen again. That mustache of yours really brings out your boo— I mean eyes. Although I’m relieved to finally see it, it is unfortunate that it took 7-11 to show me this. But hey, look on the bright side – you now have my forever approval. Let’s celebrate with a Slurpee, just you and me :-)

lily-aldridge-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

Oh my Lily!! Don’t change a thing, babe. You got the look and I never doubted you. I just wanted you in my article since you always bring it up :-)

natasha-barnard-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

[Jaw on the floor] Natasha, if you aren’t the hottest pirate I’ve ever seen then my name’s not Blackbeard! And it’s not, but you’re still the hottest pirate of all time. If we ever make love on a Mediterranean beach I hope you’re wearing your 7-11 mustache straw mustache or maybe even a real self-grown mustache. You look amazing in it.

alessandra-ambrosio-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

I didn’t know a girl with a mustache could captivate me so much. Ms. Ambrosio, consider making this a staple of your public appearance. You truly can’t go wrong. Just wow.

maryna-linchuk-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend.jpg

I like. Playful and fun. Thank you, Maryna, for gracing us with your mustache presence. It matches your outfit too! Nice touch. Let the seduction on me begin.

nina-agdal-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

OMG. Nina, grow a stache and let’s get married and have 100 babies. I’m 100% serious. Seriously. #crazyfornina

samantha-hoopes-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

Woooooow. Ms. Hoopes, I have to admit this is the first time ever I’m not staring at your jugs. Wow! Ah wait, I’m starring at them again. But the mustache proves it – you’re definitely a keeper :-)

valerie-van-der-graaf-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

Nice touch with the stache, Valerie! Thank you for restoring my faith in the hotness of supermodels. You have done me and the world a service. Keep arching that back, and we’ll get along fine.

supermodels-with-mustaches-supermodel-girlfriend

So vogue. I think Victoria’s Secret needs to hire me to do a photo shoot. I clearly have the vision.

Wow, ok so that was so weird and completely unexpected. All those supermodels actually looked hotter with 7-11 mustache straw mustaches! I’m not going to try to explain why, I’m just going with it. And what I’m going with is that after seeing all these photos I can confidently say that my objective ability to rate supermodels is back… and Nina Agdal remains my favorite (click here to read my marriage proposal to her). Thank you 7-11! I don’t know where I’d be without you. Probably getting seduced by a sub-par supermodel.

Thank you for reading my article! If you enjoyed it, leave a comment below! And if you are a supermodel that has yet to be graced by my presence on a date to the South of France, go  fill out my Supermodel Girlfriend Application. I’ll read it over and get back to you if I think you’re hot enough to spend time with me. Thanks so much :-)

P.S. Oh, and thank you 7-11 for giving me a lifetime supply of Slurpies for so creatively advertising your new mustache straws. Let’s do it again some time :-)