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The 20 Best Compliments I’ve Received From Supermodels

September 2, 2015 in Adam Dunlap, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Bar Refaeli, Carla Ossa, Danielle Knudson, Kate Upton, Nina Agdal, Samantha Hoopes, Supermodels by Adam Dunlap

Since I started exclusively dating supermodels a year and a half ago, the babes who dawn our most prestigious swimsuit magazines, lingerie catwalks, and Victoria’s Secret commercials have given me literally thousands of compliments. And I get more compliments from them every day. So I decided to sit down and compile what I feel are the 20 best compliments supermodels have ever given me. I’ve listed them below in descending order from #20 (the 20th best compliment) to #1 (the absolute best compliment). Although these are all direct quotes, I’ve given anonymity to virtually all of them for the privacy of the gorgeous babes who adore me.

Without further ado, here is a testament to my greatness via the direct compliments of supermodels…

adriana-lima-supermodel-girlfriend-adam-dunlap-palm-tree-hugging-sand-beach-feature-image

This is Adriana Lima shown hugging a tree. Speaking of which, she told me I give great hugs. That compliment didn’t make my top 20, but it was a pretty great compliment :)

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The 20 Best Compliments I’ve Received From Supermodels

#20. “I thought you were arrogant and judgmental, but, really, you are one of the kindest and most thoughtful people. I’m so glad I met you.” -Anonymous Supermodel

#19. “Adam, you’re such a great friend. You’re always there to pick me up when I’m down, and you’re always there to listen and support me when I need it. Thank you.” -V.S. Angel

#18. “It’s so refreshing to meet a man who isn’t afraid to speak his mind and challenge the norm. And honestly, it makes me so hot I can’t even stand it!!” -Anonymous Supermodel

#17. “You are amazing in every way! You should go on a national seminar tour and teach other men to be like you.” -Anonymous Supermodel

danielle-knudson-supermodel-girlfriend-beach-adam-dunlap-2

Danielle Knudson is very good at giving compliments. Trust me, I know.

#16. “You’re so hot you make Jared Leto look like the Swamp Thing.” -Anonymous Supermodel

#15. “You do the best motorboats!” -A supermodel with very nice boobs

#14. “Do you know they have statues of you in Rome? I was just there, and you are all over.” -A very cultured supermodel

#13. “Being naked in front of you is one of the greatest honors of my life!” -A natural “10” supermodel

#12. “Please impregnate me right now!” -A supermodel who didn’t want kids before she met me

#11. “Now that I’ve had a chance to strip for you, I’m so confused why I ever had a crush on Channing Tatum.” -Anonymous Supermodel

#10. “I’ve read countless books that said there was no such thing as a man who was as strong as you and also as sensitive and affectionate as you. You must be the only one.” -A very wise supermodel

#9. “OH MY GOD!!!! YOU ARE LITERALLY THE MOST INTERESTING MAN EVER!!! F*CK ME HARDER!” -A supermodel who was captivated by my perspective

bar-refaeli-supermodel-girlfriend-beach-adam-dunlap-2

Study and learn. This is a woman’s “This man is so amazing I have to give him a great compliment” face. I see it all the time. Bar Refaeli is great at demonstrating.

#8. “Your life theories are amazing! You’re so smart you make Stephen Hawking seem like a special needs fourth grader.” -A very intelligent supermodel with an advanced degree in astrophysics

#7. “When I’m with you, I know I am complete. I have only to receive a text from you and my body trembles in ecstasy.” -A very honest and forthright supermodel

#6. “Any woman would be lucky to even just make eye contact with you once in her lifetime! After knowing you for a year and a half, I can say with confidence that if Nina Agdal doesn’t accept your marriage proposal she will go down in history as one of the dumbest women of all time. I mean, I hate that woman! Why won’t you propose to me instead?!!!” -Kate Upton

#5. “You’re so incredibly perceptive and intuitive. I bet you can read all women’s minds, can’t you.” -Anonymous Supermodel

#4. “I never thought I’d come 28 times in two hours. You are a sex God!” -A very satisfied supermodel

#3. “Adam Dunlap – you ARE the greatest snuggler of all time!” –Nina Agdal

#2. “You’re the best listener I’ve ever met.” -V.S. Angel

#1.  “O. M.G. the legends are true – your dick is huge. You really are a perfect man.” -Said by more than 100 supermodels. I stopped counting at around 20 since they pretty much all say this to me.

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A solid list for sure. If you don’t agree with the order let me know! And for all the women out there, I hope this article served as a solid lesson in how to compliment awesome, flawless, amazing guys like me (even though I’m the only one). Thank you for reading and applying your knowledge in the future!

P.S. Oh, and if you know any supermodels who are single and want the chance to experience how awesome I am, tell them to click here and fill out my Supermodel Girlfriend Application. If I decide to give them a chance, they’ll probably thank you every day for the rest of their lives.

alessandra-ambrosio-supermodel-girlfriend-adam-dunlap-pink-swimsuit-2

I’m not going to tell you which one of the above compliments is from Alessandra Ambrosio. But I will give you a hint: if she had met me before she had kids she would have said all of them.

Filing A Restraining Order Against All Supermodels

July 2, 2015 in Adam Dunlap, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Bregje Heinen, Candice Swanepoel, Carla Ossa, Cris Urena, Elyse Taylor, Karolina Kurkova, Lais Ribeiro, Lily Aldridge, Lindsay Ellingson, Maryna Linchuk, Natasha Barnard, Nina Agdal, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Samantha Hoopes, Supermodels by Adam Dunlap

Enough is enough!! A year and a half ago I opened up my life to dating supermodels with the launch of my world famous Supermodel Girlfriend Application. Since then my life has become completely crazy as just about every supermodel on the planet has done their best to win my affections. The problem is, they don’t know when to stop, and they won’t leave me alone! My phone never stops ringing from supermodels calling and texting me, and they refuse to accept that sometimes I like to sleep alone as shown by the fact that they keep sneaking into my house and lying on my bed in only their VS lingerie hoping I come home and undress them fully. I mean c’mon – give a man some space! Clearly I can’t keep living under these circumstances, and this has caused me to take decisive action.

Before I announce my decision, I have a message for all supermodels:

#1. Please understand that I think you’re all gorgeous, but I’m only one man and I simply can’t date all of you at the same time. It’s just one of those things, and I’m really sorry I’m so awesome and you all want to have my babies, but I just don’t have time for all of you. Sorry!

#2. Even if you didn’t know the above, you should have been more respectful of me, and you shouldn’t have all been texting me 500 times a day with your most recent Victoria’s Secret lingerie photos and whatnot. NEWS FLASH: Guys like me don’t only care about cleavage, and you need to demonstrate more qualities besides just how hot you are when you’re half naked. Got it?

#3. I’ve made it public that I’m really interested in Nina Agdal, and I’d like for you respect that since she and I are probably going to get married, and I’m pretty sure when that happens she won’t want me dating other supermodels, so we might as well call it quits right now and save us both a lot of heartache when we can no longer get together and make out. Thank you for understanding.

Because it’s clear that supermodels worldwide are not respecting my space, I’ve decided to file a restraining order against all of them* (except for a few). Here is a list of supermodels I’ve filed restraining orders against (in alphabetical order):

bregje-heinen-lingerie-victoria-secret-supermodel-girlfriend-adam-dunlap

Bregje, enough is enough. I can’t seduce you every night of the week. I need some time off. Hopefully this restraining order will give us just that, and then we can try to pick up where we left off.

  • Abbey Lee Kershaw
  • Adriana Lima
  • Agyness Deyn
  • Alice Dellal
  • Alyson Le Borges
  • Amber Valletta
  • Ana Beatriz Barros
  • Angela Lindvall
  • Anja Rubik
  • Aurelie Claudel
  • Bar Rafaelli
  • Bregje Heinen
  • Brooklyn Decker
  • Brooklyn Decker
  • Candice Swanepoel
  • Carla Ossa
  • Caroline Winberg
  • Catherin McNeil
  • Chanel Iman
  • Christy Turlington
  • Cindy Taylor
  • Claudia Schieffer
  • Coco Rocha
  • Cris Urena
  • Crystal Renn
  • Daria Webowy
  • Dewi Driegen
  • Doutzen Kroes
  • Doutzen Kross
  • Ella McPherson
  • Elyse Taylor
  • Emanuela De Paula

    marloes-horst-supermodel-girlfriend-adam-dunlap

    Maroles, you have a right to look disappointed, but you really brought this one on yourself. Let’s cool off for a bit and see how we feel in a few months.

  • Emma Cunmulaj
  • Erin Watson
  • Eva Herzigova
  • Gemma Ward
  • Gisele Bundchen
  • Heidi Klum
  • Hilary Rhoda
  • Irina Shayk
  • Isabelie Dontana
  • Jennifer Hawkins
  • Jessica Stam
  • Jessica White
  • Jordan Dunn
  • Julie Henderson
  • Karlie Kross
  • Karolina Kurkova
  • Kate Moss
  • Kelly Brook
  • Kim Cloutier
  • Kristy Hinze
  • Lasi Ribeiro
  • Lily Aldridge
  • Lily Cole
  • Lily Donaldson
  • Lindsay Ellingson
  • Liya Kebede
  • Marisa Miller
  • Marisa Ramirez
  • Marloes Horst
  • Maryna Linchuk
  • Milla Jovovich

    random-supermodel-girlfriend-adam-dunlap

    I don’t know who this supermodel is, but I’ve filed a restraining order against her because she is probably stalking me.

  • Miranda Kerr
  • Natalia Vodianova
  • Nataliya Gotsiy
  • Natasha Barnard
  • Natasha Poly
  • Noemie Lenair
  • Petra Nemcova
  • Rosi Huntington-Whiteley
  • Samantha Hoopes
  • Selita Ebanks
  • Tori Praver
  • Valerie van der Graaf
  • Yasmin Warsame

*If you’re a supermodel and you’re not mentioned on this list then I’ve still probably filed a restraining order against you because you’re probably stalking me. The supermodels I have not filed a restraining order against are Alessandra Ambrosio, Kate Upton, and of course the soon to be Mrs. Adam Dunlap (aka Nina Agdal).

Thank you everyone for your time and for respecting my dating limitations and the fact that I don’t want to have 200 kids from 86 different supermodels. I will let you know if I repeal the restraining orders and once again begin accepting supermodel girlfriend applications. Thank you.

nina-agdal-supermodel-wife-adam-dunlap

Nina, not only are you beautiful, you also know how to respect a man’s boundaries and give me my space when I  need it. That’s why I’m so happy we’re getting married.

Supermodels with 7-11 Mustache Straw Mustaches

June 30, 2014 in Adam Dunlap, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Candice Swanepoel, Cris Urena, Lily Aldridge, Maryna Linchuk, Natasha Barnard, Nina Agdal, Samantha Hoopes, Supermodels by Adam Dunlap

I recently encountered a very troubling problem in my life: I felt like I lost the objective ability to rate how hot a supermodel is. You see, in the beginning rating supermodels was easy. It was all about analyzing very simple inputs such as boob size, number of magazine covers landed, and lingerie color preference. But lately I’ve been so inundated with supermodels trying to seduce me on private beaches around the world that they’ve all kind of jumbled together, and I feel like I can no longer tell which ones are actually worth undressing. It’s like information overload in the worst way possible, and it felt like my life was falling apart.

In my darkest hour (which happened yesterday), I had no other choice but to take some time away from the supermodel dating scene in order to re-find my center. Lucky for me and anxious supermodels everywhere, it didn’t take long, and like an anvil landing on the head of Wile E Coyote, the answer hit me: the only way to objectively determine how hot a supermodel is, is to give her a mustache.

Inspired by 7-11’s new mustache straw mustaches (which are totally awesome, go buy one right now!), I’ve decided to pin 7-11 mustache straw mustaches on my favorite supermodels. My point in doing this is to hopefully re-spark my objective ability to figure out which supermodels to accept date requests from. And in case you think I’m crazy, realize that my thinking is pretty sound. It goes like this: if she has a mustache and she’s still hot then she has full permission to seduce me at any time. Makes sense, right? I thought so.

With my purpose clearly stated, below are a few photos of supermodels with 7-11 mustache straw mustaches. And just FYI, if you click each photo then a new window will open and you’ll see the same supermodel without a mustache. So you can compare :-)

Let’s get this supermodel-mustache-rating party started!

candice-swanepoel-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

Candice, for a time there I was wondering about you. But now thanks to 7-11, I know for sure – you are a fox. You have my full permission to seduce me at any time on any private beach in the world.

adriana-lima-with-a-mustache

Ah, why hello there Ms. Lima. To be honest, I have always questioned your beauty. Forgive me, it will never happen again. That mustache of yours really brings out your boo— I mean eyes. Although I’m relieved to finally see it, it is unfortunate that it took 7-11 to show me this. But hey, look on the bright side – you now have my forever approval. Let’s celebrate with a Slurpee, just you and me :-)

lily-aldridge-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

Oh my Lily!! Don’t change a thing, babe. You got the look and I never doubted you. I just wanted you in my article since you always bring it up :-)

natasha-barnard-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

[Jaw on the floor] Natasha, if you aren’t the hottest pirate I’ve ever seen then my name’s not Blackbeard! And it’s not, but you’re still the hottest pirate of all time. If we ever make love on a Mediterranean beach I hope you’re wearing your 7-11 mustache straw mustache or maybe even a real self-grown mustache. You look amazing in it.

alessandra-ambrosio-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

I didn’t know a girl with a mustache could captivate me so much. Ms. Ambrosio, consider making this a staple of your public appearance. You truly can’t go wrong. Just wow.

maryna-linchuk-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend.jpg

I like. Playful and fun. Thank you, Maryna, for gracing us with your mustache presence. It matches your outfit too! Nice touch. Let the seduction on me begin.

nina-agdal-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

OMG. Nina, grow a stache and let’s get married and have 100 babies. I’m 100% serious. Seriously. #crazyfornina

samantha-hoopes-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

Woooooow. Ms. Hoopes, I have to admit this is the first time ever I’m not staring at your jugs. Wow! Ah wait, I’m starring at them again. But the mustache proves it – you’re definitely a keeper :-)

valerie-van-der-graaf-with-a-mustache-supermodel-girlfriend

Nice touch with the stache, Valerie! Thank you for restoring my faith in the hotness of supermodels. You have done me and the world a service. Keep arching that back, and we’ll get along fine.

supermodels-with-mustaches-supermodel-girlfriend

So vogue. I think Victoria’s Secret needs to hire me to do a photo shoot. I clearly have the vision.

Wow, ok so that was so weird and completely unexpected. All those supermodels actually looked hotter with 7-11 mustache straw mustaches! I’m not going to try to explain why, I’m just going with it. And what I’m going with is that after seeing all these photos I can confidently say that my objective ability to rate supermodels is back… and Nina Agdal remains my favorite (click here to read my marriage proposal to her). Thank you 7-11! I don’t know where I’d be without you. Probably getting seduced by a sub-par supermodel.

Thank you for reading my article! If you enjoyed it, leave a comment below! And if you are a supermodel that has yet to be graced by my presence on a date to the South of France, go  fill out my Supermodel Girlfriend Application. I’ll read it over and get back to you if I think you’re hot enough to spend time with me. Thanks so much :-)

P.S. Oh, and thank you 7-11 for giving me a lifetime supply of Slurpies for so creatively advertising your new mustache straws. Let’s do it again some time :-)

10 Reasons Why I Love Supermodels (part 2 of 2)

April 23, 2014 in Adam Dunlap, Adriana Lima, Supermodels by Adam Dunlap

This is a continuation of the 10 Reason Why I Love Supermodels (part 1 of 2). Click here to read part 1.

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#6. Supermodels have a genetic disposition to being in shape

Adding on to reason #5 (valuing their health and physique) is an added genetic benefit that makes supermodels extra awesome. It’s their genetic predisposition to being slender and keeping off weight.

Let’s face it, no one wants to marry a bombshell (man or woman) and then have him/her gain 100 pounds. A few pounds here or there? No biggie. But a health transformation gone off the deep end is a disservice to yourself and your partner, man or woman. But of course life is hard, you have kids, you get busy, you’re tried, hormones change, you age etc etc and then it happens. Understanding that life is unpredictable in this way I’ve decided that given the choice I prefer to have an added benefit of marrying a girl that at least has genes on her side. Makes sense, doesn’t it? Supermodels get a +1 from me. Asian girls get a +1, too.

#7. Supermodels are financially independent

I once had a boss at the golf club I worked at in high school. He used to be a limo driver in Vegas, and he had all sorts of crazy stories. He’d tell us them and he even gave us us advice about women from time to time. One day he sat us down and imparted words of wisdom which I will never forget. He said, “Boys, I’m going to give you some advice. Marry for money.”

As awesome as this advice was, I now have money so I no longer need to marry to get it. However, believe me, all things being equal, a woman that makes her own living is so much more attractive than one who doesn’t. Supermodels are well paid AND they know the value of their time. And that’s exactly why my soon-to-be supermodel babe will appreciate my time and money as well. It’s an ideal match.

Ne-Yo knew what he was talking about.

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