My 6-Step Guide To Always Beating Supermodels At Strip Poker

November 24, 2015 by Adam Dunlap

There are a lot of fun games to play with supermodels, but my favorite by far is strip poker. I’m not sure why that’s my favorite game to play with supermodels, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I always win. In fact, I’m proud to say that my all-time strip poker record against supermodels is a resounding 152-0. Yes, that means I am undefeated. I’ve heard through the grapevine that even Phil Ivey is jealous of my strip poker record.

Since I’m probably the greatest strip poker player of all time, I thought I’d share some of my wisdom by unveiling my 6-step guide to always beating supermodels at strip poker. By reading this, I think you too will gain a competitive edge in your future strip poker tournaments.

My 6 Step Guide To Always Beating Supermodels At Strip Poker*

brooklyn_decker_strip_poker_supermodel_girlfriend_adam_dunlap_2

I didn’t have to play strip poker with Brooklyn Decker to know she was cunning and crafty at the game. She hides it well, but her eyes give it away. Don’t be fooled. It takes every ounce of skill to beat a supermodel like this at strip poker.

Step #1. Only Play Strip Poker With Supermodels You Know You Can Beat
Since there is no official strip poker league or federation, you get to decide who you play against. So just like Floyd Mayweather did in his boxing career, only play against opponents you know you can beat. I recommend NOT playing against Nina Agdal, Samantha Hoopes, or any VS angel. Those gals are all really, really good.

Step #2. Never Play Strip Poker With More Than One Supermodel At A Time
I’ve taken a few chances in my life and played strip poker against 2, 3, and even 7 supermodels at once. But I don’t advise this at all because it lowers your mathematical odds of winning. In as much as you can control it, only play strip poker against one supermodel at a time or you’re unnecessarily flirting with a potential loss.

Step #3. Wear Lots of Layers And Don’t Get Caught Or She’ll Call You A Cheater
The supermodels I play strip poker with are usually half naked to begin with. This gives me a starting advantage, and you can add to this by wearing extra layers. I recommend socks or an undershirt as these are inconspicuous, especially in the winter.

samantha-hoopes-strip-poker-white-adam-dunlap

If Samantha Hoopes asks you to play strip poker, turn around and run away as fast as you can! Unless your name is Adam Dunlap, you have zero chance of beating her. She is amazing.

Step #4. Play Chinese Poker. It’s Complicated As Hell, And She’ll Make Noob Mistakes For Sure.
Don’t play the classic 5-card stud or 5-card draw poker games. Instead, chose a complicated poker game such as Omaha, Badugi, or Chinese Poker. I’ve never met a supermodel who understood any of the mixed poker games, so playing them will naturally give you an added edge.

Step #5. Pretend To Help Her But Look At Her Cards
Offering to help your supermodel opponent throughout the game is a great way to gain, yet, another competitive edge. When she lets you give her advice (and she almost always will), look at her hand, and use your newfound knowledge to your advantage.**

Step #6. If All Else Fails, Claim She Cheated And Demand A Restart
If worse comes to worst, and somehow you’re is Aspen on a secret weekend getaway with Nina Agdal, and you’re in the Presidential Suite of a 5-star hotel playing strip poker in front of the fire, and Nina gets incredibly lucky on 9 consecutive hands of Badugi and remains fully clothed in her 2 items of VS lingerie while you’re stripped down to only your compression shorts, then the answer to save your undefeated record is to claim she cheated. This is a worst case scenario, and I don’t like this technique, but it did work for me. In my defense, I think Nina was hiding cards in her bra. We restarted, and I won the following game without even breaking a sweat.

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Nina Agdal is a notable up-and-coming strip poker player. I’d consider her my prized pupil, but I’m so humble that I could never take credit for all she’s learned from losing to me. She really is a natural.

So there you go. That’s my 6-step guide to always beating supermodels at strip poker. Even if you follow my 6-step guide, you’re never going to reach my 152-0 record. That takes a combined level of divine genius, incomparable strategy, and a ton of luck and charm that I can’t fully explain or teach. But if you follow my steps, then slowly but surely you’ll win more and more frequently. I wish you the best of luck! Supermodels are crafty, unexpectedly intelligent, and often very, very lucky, so you’ll need it.

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*A Brief Overview of Strip Poker: Strip poker is an underground version of poker, where the participants play regular poker hands, but instead of betting money, participants wager clothing. The most common version is played such that every time you lose a hand you have to take off an article of clothing. The first person to end up naked loses, and/or (if more than one person is playing) the last person with clothes on wins. Strip Poker is known as a high pressure game, and it takes every ounce of concentration to stay focused, not give in to emotional decision making, and routinely come out victorious especially when playing against supermodels.

**To this day, no supermodel I have played strip poker against has ever suspected I asked to see her cards so I could gain a competitive edge. I don’t know why, but they just don’t suspect it! So I think this technique is foolproof.

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Adam Dunlap’s 6-Step Guide To Always Beating Supermodels At Strip Poker

  1. Only Play Strip Poker With Supermodels You Know You Can Beat
  2. Never Play Strip Poker With More Than One Supermodel At A Time
  3. Wear Lots of Layers And Don’t Get Caught Or She’ll Call You A Cheater
  4. Play Chinese Poker. It’s Complicated As Hell, And She’ll Make Noob Mistakes For Sure.
  5. Pretend To Help Her But Look At Her Cards
  6. If All Else Fails, Claim She Cheated And Demand A Restart

November 24, 2015 in Adam Dunlap, Alessandra Ambrosio, Brooklyn Decker, Featured Articles, Lily Aldridge, Nina Agdal, Samantha Hoopes, Supermodels by Adam Dunlap