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Adam Dunlap

How to Sit Next to the Cutest Girls on the Plane in 10 Easy Steps (part 2)

June 9, 2014 in Adam Dunlap, Lily Aldridge, Nina Agdal, Samantha Hoopes, Supermodels

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This is a continuation of How to Sit Next to the Cutest Girls on the Plane in 10 Easy Steps (part 1). If you haven’t read that article yet, click here!

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Step #5. Choose A Middle Seat

So now you have a last second booking being made to Latin American and your best friend is taking care of the details. Perfect but not yet refined. There won’t be a lot of seats left to choose from at this point, but make sure that no matter what your go-to wing man chooses a middle seat. No, not an isle or window seat – a MIDDLE seat.

A middle seat is absolutely the best place you can sit in order to raise your chances of sitting next to the cutest girl in the plane. There are two reasons for this:

  1. You avoid being in the same isle as a couple which = 0% chance of sitting next to a hot babe who is single.
  2. It gives you 2 airplane neighbors which mathematically doubles your chances that the girl sitting next to you will think you’re the manliest arm candy she has ever laid boobs upon. 

Some of us get this boob treatment everywhere we go, but for those of you that don’t, your best move is to double down and increase your statistical odds. Don’t argue with the numbers. This one is simple math.

Step #6. Choose a Seat Towards the Back of the Plane

One more detail about your seat selection – make sure that your middle seat is near the back of the plane. Any seat “more towards the back” will do, but when in doubt I’ve found that the cutest girls generally gravitate to rows 25-28 (e.g. 25a, 27c, 28f etc). Or maybe they just gravitate to this area because that’s where I always sit? I’m not actually quite sure on this one, but this is one of those things where I can’t really experiment with other theories since all I can be is me. So if my destiny is to constantly be inundated with hot babes who can’t keep their hands off of me then I must be doing something right and you should copy me. That’s why you’re reading this site anyway, right? So yeah just trust me on this one – choose a seat towards the back and you’ll be set to go. In addition, and most powerfully, this step allows you to effectively employ step #8 which we’ll get to shortly.

nina_agdal_red_smile

Nina Agdal, you tease me so! We both know we’re a match made in heaven. Oh, and this photo has nothing to do with this article which is fine by me :-)

Step #7. Rock a Fedora.*

Your ticket is booked and the day has arrived. Now it’s game time, so pay extra close attention to these last four steps. Step numero siete – if you want to sit next to the cutest girl on the plane rock a fedora.

Here’s the deal – women love fedoras. They are attracted to them like mosquitos to sticky paper, and somehow this affect is compounded at least three fold when the oxygen level is even just theoretically limited (like in a plane). Don’t just take my word for it. Bruno Mars and Johnny Depp have practiced this hat wearing strategy for years, and the little known truth is that the method is bulletproof even if you can’t sing or act. Unfortunately (and here is the one drawback to step 7) not all guys can confidently rock a fedora. And the truth is, if you don’t look as good in one as Bruno, Johnny, or I do, then you’re probably S.O.L. Oh well, consider this one an “advanced step” and do without it for now. In the meantime, accept that I’ve just enlightened you to realize that you need more style. You’ll get it in due time. Just keep reading this site and doing as I do.

*Also wear aviators. They’ll complete your babe-attracting ensemble.

Step #8. Be the Last One to Board

It’s time for step 8 which all by itself can make up for your lack of style, incompetence at learning to pronounce “joder”, and all around worthlessness to date as the man slob you know you are. But hey, this is women we’re talking about. They just want to be loved and they don’t generally care by who. And that, my friend, makes you a rockstar :-) So here is the tip of all tips especially if you fail on all other 9 accounts: make sure you are the last one to board the plane.

Being the last to board the plane is the tip of all amazingly uncirculated man tips. By doing this, not only will you come across to everyone as a badass who doesn’t give a sh*t (which girls fall for every time at least into their mid to late 20’s), more importantly this technique allows you to take advantage of what I call Spontaneous Personal Seat Reassignment (SPSR). By virtue of you being the last one to board, you now know that any vacant seats are truly empty. So if you see a cutie without someone next to her, you can take full advantage, pull a SPSR, and slide in beside her as if that was your original ticketed seat. As long as it’s not an exit row seat or first class seat, no one will ask to see your ticket. The only difference anyone will notice is the girl herself who will have butterflies in her stomach because your badass, sunglasses-sporting, fedora-wearing, late-boarding ways have just proven you can treat her like crap without any remorse. Pat yourself on the back – as long as she’s younger than 28, you’re her dream man and you’ve just made her dreams come true. Like I said, rockstar ;-)

Samantha-Hoopes-sport-illustrated-rainbow-bikini

Samantha!! Why weren’t YOU waiting for me in Guatemala?!! Truth be told, if it wasn’t for Ms. Nina, you’d be my new favorite. I like your swimming suit, too :-)

Step #9. Be Prepared to Organize an Elaborate Seat Rearranging Scheme

It’s rare, but sometimes a comet the size of Texas figuratively hits planet earth and rearranges my cosmic destiny. When this happens, I find myself sitting in a plane, on the runway in Houston, when it’s 108 degrees outside, the plane air conditioner is broken, and I’m squeezed between a grandma who won’t stop talking and a 300 pound black guy named Thomas that didn’t wear deodorant. I mean, we’re going to Guatemala for goodness sakes! How did you forget that one?!! (it was clearly a really big comet). Anyway, when this happens I pull out step #9 which is be prepared to organize an elaborate seat rearranging scheme.

The key to coordinating a elaborate seat rearranging scheme is to get people to willingly change their seats. Doing this is tricky but not too difficult. My favorite method (among many) is to always have a pre-scripted and well-rehearsed story ready to move people emotionally to swap seats. My story usually involves my younger cousin, taking very specific pictures for her because “she got reeeeeeeeally sick and couldn’t come on the trip”, and slipping some Benjamins to the flight attendants. I know it sounds awful, but it’s truly not. In the end, I get the girl, she gets me, and everyone else feels like they have helped out the greater good, which they have. It’s “all in a days seduction” as I say. Also, the fact that I made up a story doesn’t change anything. Truth is, most people don’t mind if you start off a relationship by lying as long as they end up liking you. Keep that in mind both for your plane travels and your day-to-day pickup.

Step #10. If All Else Fails, Redefine Cuteness

So all else failed and now you’re somehow truly on a flight with no girls that are qualitatively bangable. Oh well, it happens, and it’s not your vault. What do you do? The answer is move to step 10 and redefine cuteness. Sure, we all have our boob size preference, but the truth of the matter is that all women are beautiful to someone in some way. So all you have to do is find that perspective and you’re set. It’s kind of like the same idea Jack Black taught us in Shallow Hal. So relax, sit back, open a conversation and see where it goes. That’s what it’s all about anyway. And even if the conversation dies because she’d rather listen to Burno Mars on her iPod, take solace in the fact that this trip wasn’t a total waste. After all, you’re going to a tropical paradise where you’re richer than filth and $2 dollars can buy you cold beer and a massage on the beach. Pat yourself on the back – you’re the man and there’s always the next flight.

Lilly, you’re absolutely wonderful. Don’t change a thing. You may not be from Latin America, but I won’t hold it against you this time :-)

So there you go. That’s my patent-pending 10 step process to get you a flight babe neighbor every time. I hope you learned a lot and apply this to your future travel adventures. One note: as good as this strategy is, it has yet to sit me next to a supermodel babe. But, hey, that’s not really my concern. Supermodel babes usually sit in first class anyway, and when you have one waiting for you at the airport to pick you up in a limo when you land in Guatemala, all this flight planning is pretty much just a warm-up to stroke your ego. In any case, next Friday I’m flying to Colombia to meet another supermodel potential so we’ll see how that goes. I made sure this one has bigger boobs, so as long as she’s not a complete ditz I’m sure it’ll be a worthwhile trip. Fingers crossed.

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Recap: How To Sit Next to the Cutest Girl On the Plane in 10 Easy Steps

Step #1. Strategically Plan Your Destination
Step #2. Learn Spanish
Step #3. Book Your Travel Plans At The Last Minute
Step #4. Let Someone Else Book Your Flight
Step #5. Choose A Middle Seat
Step #6. Choose a Seat Towards the Back of the Plane
Step #7. Rock a Fedora (and aviators)
Step #8. Be the Last One to Board
Step #9. Be Prepared to Organize an Elaborate Seat Rearranging Scheme
Step #10. If All Else Fails, Redefine Cuteness

 

 

Adam Dunlap

6 Reasons Why Supermodels Have The Best Boobs (part 2)

April 29, 2014 in Adam Dunlap, Bregje Heinen, Candice Swanepoel, Carla Ossa, Elyse Taylor, Supermodels

This is a continuation of 6 Reasons Why Supermodels Have The Best Boobs (part 1). If you haven’t read that article yet, click here!

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#4. Boob Variety

Supermodels come from all countries and all walks of life. There are supermodels from the US, from Brazil, from France, from Brazil, from Russia, and most importantly from Brazil. And you know what that means: supermodel boobs have implicit variety.

Now since we are talking about international boobs, I though I might as well take this time to inject some boob knowledge that most people don’t know. What most people don’t know is that boobs from different countries actually feel different. Believe me, I’d know. I’ve fondled breast from more than 120 different countries, and I’ve become so adept at noticing their subtle difference that I can actually tell a woman’s nationality just by giving her a boob massage. I know, I know, it’s a pretty cool talent. But don’t praise me too much. It’s an acquired skill, and I’m sure you could learn it, too.

Anyway, I tangent. As I was saying, supermodels come from all countries and all walks of life. Especially Brazil. And this is great because that means supermodels provide the whole gambit of boobs for men everywhere to admire. No doubt about it, supermodel boobs are número um.

Carla Ossa

Why hello there Ms. Ossa. I can’t feel your boobs through the computer screen, but if I could I’d know you were from Colombia. As it is, I had to look it up online. At least the internet is good for something.

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Adam Dunlap

Adam Dunlap’s Supermodel Girlfriend Application

April 16, 2014 in Adam Dunlap, Alessandra Ambrosio, Featured Articles, Supermodels

Adam Dunlap’s Supermodel Girlfriend Application

If you’d like to apply to be my supermodel girlfriend please download the Word document or the PDF version of this application. The links are below. The application is also copied below for reference.

Adam_Dunlaps_Supermodel_Girlfriend_Application.doc

Adam_Dunlaps_Supermodel_Girlfriend_Application.pdf

Adam Dunlap’s Supermodel Girlfriend Application

Included here is the official supermodel application to become my supermodel girlfriend, significant other, queen of my life, and all around luckiest woman on the planet. This application is designed to be short and succinct and only covers the most pressing and initially relevant questions. Further and more personal questions will be asked on potential/subsequent dates to Paris, Milan, and Vienna.

Please allow one full week after the submission of your application for me to review it. All information you supply in this application will be kept strictly confidential. All legitimate supermodels will be considered as will all normal models, fitness models, famous actresses, singers, athletes, performers, and celebrities. However, due to the high volume of applicants, I will only respond to women I am willing to fly to Paris for a first date. Seriously. And don’t be needy and write me again asking how long it will be until I respond. If you do that, I won’t care how awesome your boobs are, I will most definitely not write you back.

Please complete this application and email it to me at contact@supermodelgirlfriend. Please include as subject of your email “Supermodel Girlfriend Application.”

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Adam Dunlap

Win $100,000!!!

April 16, 2014 in Adam Dunlap, Nina Agdal, Supermodels

Be Entered to Win $100,000 Just For Sharing This Site!

We all know that true love is priceless, and that’s exactly why I’m willing to pay a lot of money to find it. So to incentivize you to support me in my selfless pursuit of love, I am going to give one fan $100,000. All you have to do to do to enter and be eligible is like my Supermodel Girlfriend Facebook page (click here), and share it on Facebook or Twitter! That’s it, really!

Upon marrying my soon to be supermodel girlfriend I will then give a $100,000 “Finders Fee” to a random person for having helped me promote my site and quest. If someone provides a personal introduction between me and my supermodel girlfriend who then becomes my wife, I will give that person $50,000, and I’ll give one random sharer the other $50,000.

Some restrictions may apply, but trust me, I’m loaded and more than happy to pay someone $100,000 for helping me end the loneliness of the perfect supermodel for me.

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I have no idea if Nina Agdal is single. I never look up the personal information of supermodels because that would be creeper. It’s way better to just ogle at them from a far, which is what they are paid to make you do anyway. In any case, an added benefit to not looking up personal details of supermodels is that doing so often leads to staunch disappointment when I find out they are dating guys not as cool as me…. which is pretty much always the case if they are dating anyone that isn’t me. Tsk, tsk, what a shame. When it comes down to it, this “dating a supermodel” thing is really quite a selfless pursuit.

Nina_Agdal_supermodel_girlfriend_blue_swimsuit

Adam Dunlap

Site Goals

April 16, 2014 in Adam Dunlap, Carla Ossa, Supermodels

Goals of SupermodelGirlfriend.com

Goal #1: To entertain the readers with great articles and amazing photos, to inspire deep thinking about love and relationships, and most importantly launch debates about who the hottest supermodel is.

Goal #2: Inspire men everywhere to aspire to marry supermodels. Think about it – if we held all women everywhere to supermodel high standards and quit giving them babies just because we “love them” then they’ll all be forced to become supermodel quality. Just be forewarned, if this goes global then women will probably conspire and do the same thing. So unless you have 6-pack abs and are as awesome as me, this plan could easily backfire and take away your lovely, you-focused lifestyle and make you stop watching football, get off the couch, and make something of your lazy self. My advice if you’re a man: learn from this site, but don’t show it to any women unless you know a lonely supermodel that you think would be a good match for me.

Goal #3: Land me a supermodel girlfriend and make her the happiest woman on the planet. Because we all know that without a supermodel girlfriend, life just isn’t as good. Believe me, I know! I’ve been living without a supermodel girlfriend for the last 27 years, and it’s awful!

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Adam Dunlap

SupermodelGirlfriend.com Intro

April 16, 2014 in Adam Dunlap, Nina Agdal, Supermodels

SupdermodelGirlfriend.com Site Intro

Hi, my name is Adam Dunlap, and I’m in search of a supermodel girlfriend. Principally, that’s why this site is here. You’re going to help me with that, and in return I’ll be writing great articles for you. Plus I’ll be giving someone $100,000. (there are other goals for this site, too. Click here to read them if you haven’t already).

Now to get the obvious out of the way, you may be asking yourself, “Why does Adam think he deserves a supermodel girlfriend?” and that’s a great question. There are a lot of answers to this, so I’ll respond simply by throwing the question back: why don’t I deserve a supermodel girlfriend? And why are you so quick to judge me and a bunch of gorgeous babes that you’ve never met?

The truth is there is no man on the planet more deserving of a supermodel girlfriend than me. I’m 1/2 staunch manliness and 1/2 charming innocence. My vision is driven by rocket fuel and my focus is backed by 20 years of pent of affection that’s waiting to be given to just the right girl. Some describe me as the most eligible bachelor on the planet. Others just call me awesome. I call me a 28 year amalgamation of man molded perfection. Regardless of the title or description, the consensus seems to be that I’m the best kept secret in humanity, and men have made it known that they prefer it to stay that way for fear of having their stark inadequacies exposed and the man-bar universally raised.

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